


Bill Cipher

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Human Bill Cipher, I AM ALUGHING THOUGH, IS IT COMEDY? IS IT HORROR? IS IT SOMETHING MESSED UP?, POV Second Person, Second POV, This is crack, human!bill cipher, im sorry, tHIS WAS SUPPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT IT GOT A BIT OUT OF HAND IM SORRY, this is the worst thing ive ever written, why did i do this, you got me i just wanted to use the phrase "CIPHER SURPRISE!"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3942460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're walking in the woods, there's no one around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you see him;<br/>Bill Cipher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bill Cipher

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was meant to be funny and all nothing serious but then i think this is officially the first graphic violence ive ever written and i am so sorry you guys. But hey, you're a total badass here.

You walked farther into the woods, you heard things about Gravity Falls, the mysteries that haunted the quiet town and you wanted to get a taste of some real mystery for yourself. Not those Scooby-Doo Saturday morning mysteries, no. You wanted real, blood pumping, adrenaline coursing, spine chilling, and hair raising, true mystery! 

You pulled out your phone to see if you could bring up some tumblr guide blog dedicated to the paranormal and mysteries from the U.S. You sigh out a growl as you realize you have no internet connection through all the trees, so much for your so-called ‘the best internet ever seen on a phone’. You shoved the phone into your pocket as you grumble some incoherent complaint, watching your step from large trees and other things in the walking path.

You think to yourself about the scenery and how pretty it was, the leaves were a bright vibrant green, contras to the dark color of the bark of the trees they grew from. It made you wish your friends came with you, well not that you asked for them to tag along. Shrugging off the lingering feeling of being alone you continued your walk into the woods, soon the bright rays of light began to dwindle, a sense of a moment worry consumed your being as you swallowed and brushed off the thought to turn back and just head home, this was a stupid idea.

No, you were not going back! You wanted mystery, and this was just part of the fun, besides nothing could be out here that you couldn’t deal with. You looked around at the floor of the forest in search for something- Aha! You reached down and picked up a large flat rock, it had a jagged edge to it. You took a few steps to the nearest tree as you observed the rock before pulling your arm back and swinging it as hard as you could, leaving a scar across the bark of the tree, the lighter beige breaking through the skin of the tree. You smiled triumphantly to yourself, mark your way and you won’t get lost.

 You continued to mindlessly walk through the trees, every other tree or so nicking the tree closest to your rock wielding hand. You had been humming a tune, probably that one song on the radio that you swear you don’t listen to you just know all the words; But only because it’s such an overly played song! No other reason. Your tune humming stopped when you heard a loud snap from the shadows, you whipped your head around, your eyes wide as you tried to see through the thick coverage of trees. What time was it? You hadn’t been out that long, have you?

“Hello?” You whispered aloud, despite the quietness of your voice it seemed to echo through the silence of the forest. You got no reply.

You wait a moment before you begin walking again, you decided to begin heading back now, instead of turning a 180 you simply decided to go right, sure it might take a bit while longer but you had a burning sensation of not to go straight back the way you came. So much for marking your way, you tossed the rock you had been carrying somewhere off into the brush as you dig into your pocket for your phone. You pressed the power button several times, the screen remained a lightless black. You hit the side of your phone a few times in hopes that perhaps the button was just stuck.

No luck.

You look over your shoulder as you shove your phone once again into your pocket, picking up your pace from a simple walk to a near jog. You carefully leap over a log, refusing to look over your shoulder, hoping that it was all in your head. If you can’t see it, it’s not there, right?

A bird squawked loudly over you, flapping its wings furiously as it flew away, you peered up to look at it as something caught your eye. You looked for a moment once again behind you. Oh good God.

_Bill Cipher._

You begin to run as you see the tall lanky man following you, he was yards away from you but you swore you could see each individual tooth as he smiled. No, those were not teeth, he didn’t have teeth, he had fangs.  Your legs seemed to move on their own, thankfully, running as fast as they could manage, you were still looking over your shoulder at the person following you. A scream threatened to tear through your throat as he began to sprint after you.

You noticed as he got closer that his neatly styled clothes were stained with a bright red, coagulated at some parts that had absorbed more than the rest, pale tints of red even globed at his blonde golden hair from where he ran his fingers through. The smile on his face, it was almost as if he were wearing lipstick. But no, you knew better, that was not the new shade of the fancy all the rage bright red lipstick that one celebrity just released. That was the very essence flowing through your veins, harshly pumping through your heart as you prayed for your legs to go faster.

Your eyes were burning, you weren’t facing the wind but you feared that if you blinked, even for a split second, loosing track of Cipher for a moment he would be right there, his cold grip would grab onto your bicep pulling you to a stop. Your chest wheezed in fear at the thought. As you stared at the man chasing you notice his right arm move to his backside, reaching for something.

Bill’s eyes widened as his smile did to, revealing what he had reached for. Your eyes widened, if even still possible from the fear. Holding the polished, yet still dingy, handle firmly in his gloveless hands, the blade pointing downwards towards the ground, the grey metallic burn with a gleam from some unknown source. That was it, you finally pry your eyes away from the horrifying freak chasing you, turning your head to look where exactly you had been running. Amazed on how you had managed to run this long without looking, without running into a tree or tripping over a rock, but that celebration could wait till later.

Taking in a stinging breath you moved towards the left, changing you direction abruptly. A few moments later you heard the skidding of dirt and rocks as Bill stopped in his tracks and turned the same way, the sound of twigs snapping under his heavy running.

Your lips pulled into a grimace as you squeezed your burning eyes, opening them quickly despite your vision being blurred from the tears, you weren’t crying! Alright, you weren’t, your eyes were just extremely dry and watery. Truth. Trying to see as best you could with hazy vision you abruptly would change direction in hopes to lose Cipher. Your muscles burned from the harsh running, your lungs and throat felt as if you had swallowed razors, legs beginning to shake but adrenaline refusing to allow yourself to stop running.

After what felt like ages your eyes lit up with some sort of hope, you struggled to pick up your pace but did so anyway, sliding like the small opening of the cave in the Cliffside was the home plate and this was the winning homerun. Lying flat against the cold wall of the cave you clasped a hand over your mouth and nose, trying to catch your breath quietly, your other hand over your chest as if to muffle the pounding of your heart, fearing it was beating so loud that it would give away where you were. Your ears straining to hear anything.

The silence was thick, you heard nothing from the outside. No sounds of the gravel being walked upon, no twigs snapping, no bushes or branches being pushed out of the way. Suddenly you heard the faint singing of happy birds, as if they knew nothing of what was happening moments before. You sighed in relief, struggling not to laugh out of the anxiety pitted in your stomach. Your legs finally gave out as he slid down the rock, limply laying on the frigid ground as you breathed heavily, gulping the air down as if it were water and you had been walking through the dessert for days. The sweat sticking to your body picked up the cool air and made you shiver, bringing your legs weakly to your chest.

Slowly after several minutes you peer out from the mouth of the cave, eyes scanning the surroundings as you slowly crept from your hiding spot. A silent huff of relief when you notice that he was gone, you lost him. You finally stepped out of the cave completely and you took a look around at the trees, your relief was short lived when you realized that even though you had lost the crazed man following you, you too had gotten yourself lost in the process. You were so focused on getting as far away from Bill that you weren’t even paying attention to where exactly you were going.

You looked up at the sky in hopes that you could see the sky, no luck. You sighed again, heading in whatever direction felt right to you, being careful to tread softly in case Bill was anywhere around and still out trying to find you. You continuously looked over your shoulder as you walked, arms drawn to your chest defensively, carefully listening to any sudden sounds that you knew were not your own.

Pushing the leaves out of your way your eyes widened in hope as you caught sight of a small cabin in the clearing between several trees, a worn path through the dirt leading up to it. Finally, some help!

Carefully you stepped onto the clearing path and began walking up to the door, an exhausted smile on your face.

**_­-SNAP-_ **

Your eyes widened in pain and shock as you fell instantly to the ground, a silent scream tore through your vocal chords as your hands squeezed at the pain shooting from your leg before you even looked down, tears pricking and rolling down your face. Eyes closed tightly as you rocked back and forth slowly, ragged huffs breathed through your mouth. Your face drawn tight with agony as you finally looked down at your leg.

Bright sticky red was covering your hands as triangular metal teeth clamped down on your leg, into your flesh and muscle.  It wasn’t a bear trap, too small to be one, but damn did it hurt like hell. Taking a shaky breath or two, or several, you leaned over your bloodied leg and carefully slid shaky wet hands down towards the springs of the smallish trap, fumbling with it in frustrated panic, the sound of the metal clanking every now and again in the silence. It took several shaky, weak tried at the spring levers before finally, finally, your weight was pushed down on them enough for you to squeeze your leg from between the curved metal, letting go of the levers and the jaws of metal snapping shut once again.

You stumbled towards a tree till close enough to support yourself on it as you leaned against it, the sensitive pain in your calf throbbing as you could feel the warm blood trickle down you ankle, soaking into your shoe and sock. A moment of a heavy sigh and you pushed yourself off the tree and slowly, carefully even more so than before this time, stumbled towards the cabin.

You get up to the door and lean against it for a moment, before turning towards the window and curiosity pulls you to look into the window. Your eyes widen in horror as the blood from your face drains, and not just because of the wound you had sustained a few minutes before.

Bill was sitting in front of the burning fire in the specific area meant for such, he was hunched over slightly, and you barely saw the gleam of the bit of the axe being sharpened. You stepped back from the window, once again leaning against the door. You mentally cursed, the curses died out into prayers of being a bad dream or something. Something!

You stared off into the haze of trees, barely able to make out the individual outlines through the darkness. You ran your hand over your jacket when suddenly it hit you. You grabbed an end of the drawstring, quickly tugging it free and wrapping it around your hands till you could manage it easily. You take a deep breath as you slowly turn the knob of the cabin door, slinking into the fire lit room without being noticed by the man sitting in front of the fire place, back towards you.

There was a metallic clatter as you through your arms forward and pulled the string quickly back against Cipher’s neck, he struggled against the thick braided string. You pulled the string back tighter, crossing it over in the back. You heard the choked out laughter from Bill as his thumbs dug into his neck, the only thing keeping the string some sort of space between outright strangling him.

Your vision was blurred by blond hair as Bill threw his head back and hit you square in the nose, the blunt pain enough for you to slacken the harsh tugging of the string enough for him to grab a proper hold of it and yank it, the part wrapped around your hands tightened and pulls painfully before you hurriedly twisted your hands free, pink marks left where the rope dug into your flesh. You looked up to see Bill toss the rope to the side, your eyes widened from him when something caught your attention.

You lurched forward towards the end table but a single arm came in front of you, blocking you before knocking you backwards to the ground, you landed with a hard thud against the wooden floorboards. With no time to hiss at the dull ache in your tailbone you looked up to see the mocking, smiling gaze of Bill as he waved the knife teasingly in the air.

Adrenaline once again pumped through your veins as you lunged forward, wrapping your arms arm the man’s midsection and pulling him down towards the floor, a thud from his head hitting the floor. He had lost his grip on the knife as result of the sudden tackle, you reached forward and quickly grabbed it only to have his hand harshly grip yours, as if single handedly trying to pry your fingers off of the sharpen weapon.

You brought your free arm up and brought your forearm to push against his chest, a vain attempt at getting him away before you scrambled backwards, his grip still on you before you brought your leg up and kicked him as hard as you could, knocking him once again backwards. You flipped the knife around, the blade pointing downwards as you quickly shuffled over to the other, still trying to regain his balance from the kick. He pulled in a harsh hiss as you drove the knife through the lower part of his back, his eyes widened as he tried to arch away from the sudden wound, you pulled the knife back quickly and struck again, driving it through a few inches away from the first, this time you twisted the knife with a flick of your wrist before you pulled it out. Scrabbling to your feet as you make the minuet decision to hold onto the knife before turning and bolting out the door of the cabin, ignoring the numbing frigid pain coming from your leg.

You run till you can’t see the cabin from the trees, taking to an almost jog as you limped through the forest. You’re finally save. Your breath is heavy as you try to find some sort of direction, before suddenly you hear a snap behind you, before you can even turn around you feel something pressed against the back of your skull followed by a clicking sound that seemed to echo.

_Wait he isn’t dead, **Cipher Surprise!!!**_

Slowly you try and turn your head, you only make it halfway, eyeing him from the corner of your eyes. The smile that he had been wearing all times you had seen his face was gone, replaced with a look of annoyance of some sort, death burning in his cat like pupils. Suddenly you jump awkwardly backwards, catching him off guard, falling against him. You bring the knife you had been holding from before and run it into his arm, causing his to grit out a pained growl as he struggled to keep hold of the pistol in his hand. You take this chance to push him back, grabbing the firearm from him.

You turn around and shakily hold the pistol up toward him, Bill looks down at the knife protruding from his arm before grabbing is and yanking it out with a wince before he stares up at you. A smile splits across his face as he lets out a low laugh, catching you off guard but you quickly shake it off as you squeeze the trigger.

Oh God that clever fucking bastard. Bill slowly starts walking towards you, leisurely, despite the grin on his face his eyes still held that cold look in them. You throw the gun to the side as you turn to make a run for it again, when something catches your eyes in the shadows. Leaning against a tree a conveniently placed axe. You make a beeline for it, you can hear the steps of the man behind your echo through the silence. Your hands shakily wrap around the wooden handle of the axe as you twist around, your knuckles white from the tight grip you have on the makeshift weapon. Your stance is shaky from the blood oozing from the gaping wounds in your leg.

As he draws close enough for you comfort you bring the axe up and quickly swing it straight down, Bill somehow is able to parry off your attack as he lunged towards you with the blood covered knife. You quickly dodge it, jumping over towards the right, during the midst of Bill missing, the sheer force of his small knife wielding attack clearly visible as he stumbled to catch his balance, and you weakly, awkwardly, swing the axe. You nearly cried out happily when you registered that the bit of the axe drove right between his shoulders. The sudden hit is enough to cause him to fall forward to his knees, you take this chance to press your foot against his back and pushing him off of the axe as you pull it from the connection point before you bring it back up over your head. You bring it down again, and once more.

You have just decapitated Bill Cipher.

The axe slips from you bloodied grip as you fall to your knees, you’re finally able to catch your breath. Suddenly you notice the blood flowing from the limp body has taken on a color of black ink, and instead of pooling it bleeds into a straight line towards the shadows before, you haven’t much time to exactly register what is happening before a sudden burst of wind comes coursing through you from every direction, the trees rustling and dirt picking up forcing you for close your eyes and bring your arms up to shield your face from the loose debris. Finally when the wind dies down your arms drop to your sides as your eyes widen. Then body that was once before you just seconds before was gone, the blood was completely gone, it’s as if nothing was ever there. You look around, seeing nothing. Hearing nothing. The deathly still silence was wrapped around you like a heavy blanket. You took a deep, shaky sigh once again.

You’re finally safe from Bill Cipher…

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so i got two smut fics coming (no pun), both Monster Falls AU, one for the Bambi series the other isn't. And then i also need to update the next chapter of Eternity's Summer (what kinda name is that? That wasn't even what i wanted to call it...) That should be updated hopefully this weekend. The other two? We'll see.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for this travesty... I don't, i don't really entirely know what sparked this. Im kidding i woke up this morning with that Shia LaBeouf song stuck in my head and also i was reading other stories last night so that's probably what sparked it. Also i kept switching from listening to that song to the Bioshock soundtrack.. Ooopss...?
> 
> Now let's just forget this ever happened.


End file.
